Does he love me?

Everyday i see your face i fall more and more in LOVE
You act like you love me. Holding me, Hanging on me.
Acting jelous around other guys.
You say you dont want a relationship.
But you cant stand to see anopther person on me.
I love him so much it hurts....
his touch it just what i need when im unhappy.
his smile is beautiful.
his eyes are perfect.
i just wish i could read his mind.
i just want to be with him... so bad...

L.O.V.E

having to look him in the eyes everyday makes my heart want to fall to my butt.
i love him so much that i dont think i cant stand it.
everytime he puts a hand on me, it makes me love him more.
Mark. im in love with you. you will never see this. but i just want someone to see it.
i cant live a day without you.
without feeling your touch.
i just cant take it. at school i keep a smile on my face for you.
but when i get home i cry so hard i shake. and i cant see straight.
tonite i watched glee. and i knew the spot rachel was in. i also knew the spot fin is in.
it made me cry.
not just cuse of the death of sue's sister.
but because the teather she was talking about. made me think of what i have with him.
but i know you dont feel it.
i just hope one day he will come to his senses to realize that im the best girl for him.
and that im the only one who ever gave him everything i had.
im so sick and tired of giving everyone my world. and never getting anything back.
but i guess thats how life is. just one big disapointment.
i dont know how to live without him, even tho i want to be able to look at him and say 'i dont love you like i did yesterday'
i cant.... i never will be able too.
i love him too much.
and i wont ever stop.
i cant take it anymore.
can someone comment telling me what to do. cuse i have no idea.
help me.
ive been calling for help so many years,
and im serious when i say help me.
please someone.
i really need help. like..... oh well.....
i guess this is life for me.
but seriously...
i love mark more than life.
he just doesnt seem to get that.....
*tears*

black ribbons

yesterday i saw the most beautiful thing.
one single ribbon, worn on her finger, as a ring.
she said "it came from the most special guy"
what i didn't realize is that the guy was mine.
had he been cheating with this girl i called my friend?
of course not, he told me "ill be with you till the end"
but when i brought up the question to him.
he said he gave it to her, because her sister was dieing, little Kim.
my guy told me, he would never cheat.
that my friend is a sister to him, since her real brother gets her beat.
her mom strikes once, leaving her with a scar.
a black eye and a cut. she runs and runs far.
that's how the whole story begins, because when he gave her that ribbon, he was at his friends.
she ran 10 miles, just to get some help.
he father disowned her, and her brother just made her yelp.
after going to my guy, she came to me. and that's when i saw the ribbon falling free.
black was her color, that reminded her of home.

and it was a black ribbon that showed her, your not alone.

life, love, pain....

i just cant seem to accept that theres no getting over you... does anyone know my pain? does anyone know how i feel? im so confused.... someone help me out of this deep dark sea..... please

today

yestrerday i got in a fight with my parents.... my grades are all fs..... im a failure.... they dont see that im trying my best but i just cant get myself back on top.it kills me.... that i have to live with a perfect brother.... hes so much better than me.... i hurt my wrist..... no one would think to ask if im covering scars..... i have no makeup on and im crying my eyes out..... someone help me.... im calling out for help.... i dont know what to do anymore..... my life has gone downhill..... my phone has been taken, and that held the life to three of my friends.... my mom doesnt get that.... ive already lost one... i dont want to lose another.... someone please help pull me out of this deep dark sea..... i need help.... im going to end it all next week..... i cant take life anymore.....

CAN EVERYONE JUST STOP WALKING AWAY FROM ME!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE :'/

Just started useing blog mobile :) yay!!! Lol short blog.

my thoughts as of right now...

Right now... im thinking that life is just a game.
Right now im thinking..... how could just one heartbreak lead to all this pain?
i have so much in my head, so much to say to the people i want to hear.
so much i want to hold on to, year after year.
i mean, im just one girl, barely even able to drive. and still i end up in the worst pain possible, like life wants me to die?
see on some websites.... i couldnt say what i feel, cuse every time i want to express myself,
some person just judges me, making my head reel.
i see red when i cry, cuse i cry with anger,
but when i laugh, its not real... and my smile barely lingers.
this poem isnt the best, just the first of the batch.
trust me, give me time, ill get better and make it last.
well, i have alot, to say to him and her,
but you know, if you dont want me, why bother acting like how we were?
you know, it kinda hurt, when someone plays you like that. but anyway, who cares?
all my words are annoying, like that tiny little nat.
but you know, ill get over it,
i mean really, wont we all?
cuse in the end of all this crap, we still will fall....

today

so, today is the first day i started this.... blog thing. idk how its gunna go? maybe i'll get famous by this? maybe not. ive never really blogged before soooo i dont really know what to do. lol. so yea. this is gunna be boring till im able to really get into my life on here. till i get used to it. like facebook, soooo yeah. ill be back later to blog. hopefully ill get more intresting. i might add some poems on here. and i already have some of my poems on your-poetry.com
its a really cool site. im gunna find more websites, so i can get my writings out there. its my dream, to write. or draw, but im better at writeing. ive started some books, but i always quit them... i dont have enough insperation. sooo bye-bye for now. ill be back later.